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end of the year   
11:25pm 18/06/2006
mood: uncomfortable
it's almost the end of my sophomore year
that's weird.
and i can't really understand why i still care about school
finals suck.
most of my friends are going away over the summer.
i hope things don't change when they get back
my voice is getting worse again
i have to stop talking

can anybody find me somebody to love?

(take a chance)

woooooooooooo boredom at 430 after a cast party   
04:34am 13/03/2005
mood: accomplished
01. I have never kissed someone of the same sex on the lips.
02. I see a therapist.
03. I'm the youngest child.
04. I am drawn to things associated with sadness.
05. I have gauged earrings.
06. I wear black eyeliner every day.
07. I am extremely influenced by kindness.
08. I love to write.
09. I can't live without lipgloss.
10. I'm probably emotionally scarred.
11. I lived in Tahoe.
12. I spend money I have.
13. I’ll be in college/university for over 4 years.
14. I love designer handbags.
15. I've had a concussion before.
16. I'm not good with confrontation.
17. I loved the Backstreet Boys & NSYNC.
18. I have more than a couple horrible memories.
19. I'm addicted to Degrassi.
20. I've tried writing poetry before.
21. My first kiss was unexpected.
22. I'm not a fan of rap.
23. I love taking pictures.
24. I hate girls who are fake.
25. I can be mean when I want to.
26. When I allow myself to get close to people, I get attached.
27. I am not straight.
28. I have way too many pairs of shoes.
29. I was into Hot Wheels as a child.
30. I dress how I feel that day.
31. My room is painted a color other than white.
32. I cry very easily.
33. I'm always early.
34. I barely ever study for tests.
35. My birthday is my favorite holiday.
36. I have too many clothes for my closet/dresser.
37. I am a morning person.
38. I wish I were smarter.
39. I believe that it is wrong to be gay.
40. I think that it’s perfectly okay to be gay.
41. No one really knows me.
42. I don't have many bad hair days
43. I sometimes fight with my parents.
44. I am passionate about my interests.
45. I have had the chicken pox.
46. I'm a hopeless romantic.
47. I feel empty sometimes.
48. I am/was most likely clinically depressed at a point in my life.
49. I am no longer depressed.
50. I am very outgoing.
51. Christmas is my favorite holiday.
52. I can be very insecure.
53. I don't notice it, but I'm told I'm very softspoken.
54. I hate ignorant people.
55. I love the color yellow.
56. I love guys that play the guitar.
57. I state the obvious.
58. I'm a happy person.
59. I have absolutely no self-confidence.
60. I've contemplated suicide.
61. I hate cleaning my room.
62. I tend to get am always jealous.
63. I love to play video games.
64. I love John Mayer.
65. I get more upset when I see an animal hurt than a person.
66. I'm a vegetarian/vegan/don't eat beef.
67. I've had a crush on a teacher before.
68. I am too forgiving.
no 69....
70. I have a good sense of direction.
71. I've never had a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
72. I've played a musical instrument for more than 5 years.
73. I can function perfectly well without a girlfriend/boyfriend.
74. I love kisses on the forehead.
75. I love the color blue.
76. I don't sew.
77. I am not addicted to drugs.
78. I wear contacts.
79. I hate it when people say they hate Bush just because he is a moron.
80. I hate Bush.
81. I don't take criticism well.
82. Conformity is stupid.
83. Chris Carrabba is one of the sexiest men alive.
84. Chris Carrabba should die.
85. I love my family.
86. I don't mind getting shots.
87. I am a perfectionist when it comes to certain things.
88. I always wanted to learn to play the drums.
89. I can be too hard on myself.
90. I'm probably going to have premarital sex.
91. I don't like my nose.
92. I am very religious.
93. I still act like a little kid.
94. I am ridiculously indecisive.
95. I believe in a higher power or some form of an afterlife.
96. I love music.
97. I have problems letting go of people.
98. Jesse Lacey writes some of the most amazing lyrics ever.
99. I don't really like ice cream.
100. I am in love lust.

(2 defied gravity | take a chance)

we must get out   
11:07pm 16/02/2005
mood: distressed
i <3 maroon 5...i do...um...yea...so i haven't had a worthwhile entry in a bittle...

um...so life's really screwed up right now i guess...thats the best way to put it...i don't know what i'm doing anymore..and that scares me. so yea...

um...this journal is so not private anymore...i dunno..i feel like i can't say anything for fear of someone taking offense etc...o well...too fucking bad for them.

i'm sick of...the majority of our grade, our school, our school's attitude towards things, this town, classes, life in general...

i dunno. its not that i don't feel privileged or i think that my life sucks...i'm just so confused and dissatisfied...well whatever...it probably makes me sound really selfish and fucked up..

people don't realize how much they hurt you til its too late...or they never realize...which is worse...

music. thank goodness i have music and the people i trust. without them...psh...i would probably have given up way long ago. major thanks to those people. i hope you know who you are.

vacation this coming week. then hspas so we get to go into school at like 10..nice nice...unfortuneately my darling dearest anna banana has decided to go be european and shop in london...*tear tear* i loveth her though so its ok...

went to the middle school today during school...i felt so cool...so the 8th graders had to listen to chamber choir be our music geek selves and then we talked and ran bridge..and i got to sing the solo again...I WANT THAT DAMN SOLO...*sigh*..too bad i'm a freshman and not as good as other people who tried out...

ok. i'm done.


(take a chance)

07:13pm 12/02/2005
Your Superhero Persona
by couplandesque
Your Name
Superhero NameThe Mexican
Super PowerMind-Reading
EnemyThe Ex-Girlfriend
Mode Of TransportationMechanical Bull
Quiz created with MemeGen!

hahaha i thought that was funny

(take a chance)

11:07pm 08/02/2005
mood: nerdy

What is your weird quotient? Click to find out!

haha who woulda thunk it

~*~Beautiful Soul~*~
You're the type of person who is loving, giving,
sweet, generous, genuine, and optimistic. You
see the beauty around you and you admire it for
its faults, as well as perfections. Most likely
a dreamer, you are highly respected and liked.
People like to be around you because you make
them happy. You have a wonderful personality
and you're beautiful inside and out!

Please Rate or message me! Thank you for taking my
quiz! XoXo <3 Lana

You're Beautiful...but why? ( PICS)
brought to you by Quizilla

haha that was for the picture...creepy shit...and for the fact that i am beautiful due to a jesse mcartney song..hahahhahahaha

In your eyes, people see shards of ice
everywhere... You are cold and distant, pushing
away people that love you and truely care for
you! You want to be able to reach out and love
them but... You can't for some reason... You're
just too.... You :P Underneath that cold
exterior lies a warm, happy soul that wants to
let loose and have fun! Your sanctuary would
probably be anywhere up high where you can look
down on life below you, like the roof of an
apartment building... Your eyes resemble a
saddened, crestfallen person seeking out
attention, but doesn't know how to handle it.
However, you do find comfort from your friends,
they're always there for you, and they know the
REAL you :) Even though you do seem rather
cold, you can be very protective over something
you truely believe in or love. Let go of that
"tough" rep and just be you! It's
impossible to live life without some fun and
love ^-^

What Lies Behind Your Eyes? (With Pics, See All Results!)
brought to you by Quizilla

and yet again..more anime...i hope zach vlee is having fun...

i took one that said i was a slow dancer...and that i was romantic etc. funny stuff these quizzes are..

Parking Lot Tram
The Parking Lot Tram: The uncredited workhorse of
the Disneyland resort. You take visitors from
the largest parking lot on earth to the front
door of Disneyland and back again. You aren't
the picture of glamour and most wouldn't even
think you provide any sort of excitment, but
without you no fun could be had at all. You
don't mean to, but you seem often sour. You
get little respect and sometimes get losts of
scorn, but yet you are faithful and eager to
please. People need you and you need them.
Your simpleness is the perfect backdrop to
showcase the eager smiles of children riding
you for their first time to the Happiest Place
on Earth.

What Disneyland attraction are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

ok so basically..i'm loud..get sat on...and i'm severely underappreciated...story of my life

(take a chance)

our time is now   
08:09pm 06/02/2005
mood: depressed
i figured i'd use this primarily for worthless self quizzes that no one reads.

First best friend: claire
First screenname: Jdogcat89
First self purchased CD: backstreet boys probably
First pets: my hamster. i changed her name like 80 times...actually it might have been a boy....o well.
First piercing/tattoo: ears. but i've already fucked them up and i only got them done in nov.
Last car ride: this morning. anna's mom
Last movie seen on video: i.robot.
Last beverage drank: um..coke
Last food consumed: oreos
Last time showered: yesterday.
Last shoes worn: black suede flats
Last annoyance: father being stubborn
Last disappointment: today
Last shirt worn: my beetle one that my grandma got me
Last website visited: www.xanga.com
Last word/s you said: its on AFTER THIS SHOW ON THE OTHER CHANNEL
What color socks are you wearing? not wearing any
What color of underwear are you wearing: blue ones
What's under your bed? crap
What time did you wake up today? 10:00
Where are you going to live? no idea
How many kids do you want? 0

Current mood: sick of everything
Current music: none
Curren taste: toothpaste
Current hair: in a loose bun
Current clothes: bug shirt..black yoga pants and pink slippers
Current desktop picture: some weird design
Current color of toenails: eau natural

(_) crashed a friend's car
(_) been to Japan
(x) ridden in a taxi
(_) been fired or laid off
(x) been in a fist fight. with my sister
(_) snuck out of my parent's house
(_) ever had a crush on someone of the same sex
(_) ever dated someone of the same sex
(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
(_) been arrested (_) deserved it- yes.
(_) made out with a stranger
(x) a pair of $1 earrings.
(_) celebrated new years in time square
(_) gone on a blind date
(_) had a crush on a teacher.
(_) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
(x) been to Europe
(_) skipped school
(_) cut myself on purpose
(_) been married
(_) gotten divorced
(_) had children
(_) seen someone die.
(_) been to Africa.
(x) Punched a friend
(_) Been to Canada
(_) Been to Mexico
(x) Been on a plane
(x) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
(_) Thrown up in a bar
(_) Purposely set a part of myself on fire
(_) Eaten Sushi
(_) Been Snowboarding
(_) Met someone in person from the internet
(x) Been moshing at a concert--ARENA CONCERT YEA BABY
(_) had real feelings for someone you knew only online
(_) been in an abusive relationship
(_) been pregnant or got someone pregnant
(_) lost a child
(_) gone to college
(_) graduated college
(_) tried killing yourself
(_) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now

1. Nervous Habits? talking
2. Are you double jointed? not so much
3. Can you roll your tongue? no...i'm not talented
4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time? kinda
5. Can you blow spit bubble? si
6. Can you cross your eyes? can't everyone?
7. Tattoos? i want one
8. Piercings and where: ears.
9. Do you make your bed daily? haha no

10. Which shoe goes on first? don't know
11. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone? definitely many times
12. On the average, how much money do you carry in your wallet? um...usually none
13. What jewelry do you wear 24/7? usually my music in schools bracelet and my thumb cuff and earrings
14. Favorite piece of clothing? my converse and my comfy jeans

15. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? don't eat spaghetti that much
16. Have you ever eaten Spam? no
17. Favorite ice cream flavor? double fudge brownie
18. How many cereals in your cabinet? like 4
19. What's your favorite beverage? i'm gonna have to say vanilla coke or milk
20. What's your favorite restaurant? prestige diner
21. Do you cook? if absolutely necessary
22. How often do you brush your teeth? at least once a day
23. Hair drying method? air dry...or blow dry if its freezing and i don't want to die
24. Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair? no...can't find a good color

25. Do you swear? yea i do. not around my family though.
26. Do you ever spit? when i'm brushing my teeth

27. Animal? elephants
28. Food? oreos are up there
29. Month? may or october
30. Day? any day thats a good day
32. Shoe Brand? converse
33. Subject in school? english or chorus
34. Color? red
35. Sport? i don't do sports....but i watch hockey and football
36. TV show? LOST, american idol, house, without a trace, law and order svu

41. The CD player? which one? car=josh groban and wicked. upstairs=les mis downstairs=no idea
42. Person you talk most on the phone with? anna or juan dunno really
43. Ever taken a cab? 2 kinds
44. Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows and mirrors? only to make sure i don't look like a prat
45. What color is your bedroom? red, orange, yellow, green, blue. yes i'm dead serious
46. Do you use an alarm clock? no my mom wakes me up
47. Window seat or aisle? aisle on a bus...window on a plane

48. What's your sleeping position? whatever is most comfortable at the time
49. Even in hot weather do you use a blanket? usually yea

50. Do you sleepwalk? only like 2 times
51. Do you talk in your sleep? don't think so
52. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? only if they fit in bed
53. How about with the light on? no
54. Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on? not anymore..i sing along to music and i don't have a tv in my room

ok now that you've thorougly wasted your life i'll go.

(3 defied gravity | take a chance)

following andrea's footsteps i'm trying this   
12:00am 17/01/2005
mood: dorky
go figureCollapse )

(15 defied gravity | take a chance)

ok more quiz overload   
12:49am 12/01/2005
You scored as Canada. You’re polite, friendly and pretty much an all around nice person. Everyone wants you at the party but at the same time no one really cares if you don’t show. You might consider hitting the gym once in a while.






Great Britain




United States


What country are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

suprised eh?

You scored as Orange Soda. Everybody loves you because of your crazy and outgoing side! Keep having fun as you are!


Orange Soda




Water / None


Dr. Pepper


Diet Coke


Which soda are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

who loves orange soda. KEEEEEEELL loves orange soda

You are a Belly Dancer. You are charming inside
out, your life follows an interesting rhythem,
beautiful and smooth, you know how to be the
center of attention when you want to, you love
your friends and you can trust them on your
life. Your ideal man is the one with a sweet
witty character who understands how much
freedom is important to you.

What kind of dancers are you? (Girls only)
brought to you by Quizilla


(take a chance)

hm. go figure.   
12:44am 12/01/2005
mood: tired
You scored as Drama nerd.


Drama nerd










Ghetto gangsta






What's Your High School Stereotype?
created with QuizFarm.com

(take a chance)

10:18pm 02/01/2005
You are Napoleon Dynamite. You have sweet bowstaff
and numchuck skills, love to have a killer time
playing tetherball, and can amaze your friends
with your spectacular dance grooves.

Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

(take a chance)

i'm dreaming of a white christmas   
10:27pm 19/12/2004
mood: sleepy
things that mo def happened this weekend---

-josh and anna hung out with me on friday til like 12 oclock
-i went to the mall with anna again
-i saw a series of unfortuneate events with anna
-i finished all my homework
-i missed tap class
-it snowed
-my neighbor got mad drunk and reminded me of frank the tank
-my ears are ready for new earrings finally
-my weekend was alright

i didn't have a shitty weekend for the first time in a while.

just 3 and a half more days..then i'm free

well...more like trapped with my family



think bright side...think bright side...think about the goddamn bright side.

(1 defied gravity | take a chance)

before the parade passes by...   
11:22pm 05/12/2004
mood: moody
its sad to say that i have dolly on the brain...i promised myself i wouldn't get all worked up over it....BUT I DID...as usual...this is only going to be disappointing...


so...tomorrow i have piano..and tap.


tuesday i have auditions. then chamber maybe?

wednesday callbacks if poyner feels so inclined

thursday is jazz band and sax lessons..which blows..

and friday is the dreadful casting day which if all goes as i think
i'll be upset.

yes. life. is. amazing.

the middle school show was loverly..my dearies were wonderful. i lurve them so much.

and the cast partay was fun.

and its time for bed..not really..i'll just go read..but whatever.

(take a chance)

troll the ancient yuletide carols   
04:55pm 30/11/2004
mood: blah

You Are a "Don't Tread On Me" Libertarian

You distrust the government, are fiercely independent, and don't belong in either party.

Religion and politics should never mix, in your opinion... and you feel opressed by both.

You don't want the government to cramp your self made style. Or anyone else's for that matter.

You're proud to say that you're pro-choice on absolutely everything!


neither was i

um...school sucks...regions and musical auditions next week...great lovely awesome..


(take a chance)

come stop your crying it will be alright...just take my hand hold it tight   
10:58pm 20/11/2004
mood: sad
and today is about one hour from ending..and its been one of the most difficult days of my life. jenna i love you so much. i'm sorry for all the shit that we've been having to deal with lately. i'm always here and i will drop whatever i'm doing if you need me. you're right about not worrying about the woulda, coulda, shouldas because you did everything right. he was your brother and you told him you loved him and i know he knew that.

as evident from everyone's profiles you know you have a lot of people you can count on. we all love you and your family so much and i'll keep you in my thoughts.

who can say for certain
maybe you're still here
i feel you all around me
your memory's so clear

deep in the stillness
i can hear you speak
you're still and inspiration
can it be

that you are my
forever love
and you are watching over me
from up above

fly me up to where you are
beyond the distant star
i wish upon tonight
to see you smile

if only for a while a while
to know you're there
a breath away's not far
to where you are

are you gently sleeping
here inside my dream
and isn't faith believing
all power can't be seen

as my heart holds you
just one beat away
i cherish all you gave me
every day

cause you are my
forever love
watching me
from up above

and i believe
that angels breathe
and that love
will live on and never leave

fly me up to where you are
beyond a distant star
i wish upon tonight
to see you smile

if only for a while
to know you're there
a breath aways not far
to where you are

i know you're there
a breath away's not far
to where you are

---to where you are
--------josh groban


(1 defied gravity | take a chance)

12:06am 18/11/2004
mood: amused
so i'm writing my lab report...and i can't do it..so i'm being ADD and writing an entry...i haven't written in over a week...mmhmm...so my ankle still hurts...maybe i should see a doctor..eh..whatever..

school sucks

the show was awesome

the cast party was funny

the next day was not

i didn't get home til 415 in the morning..yay for me

um...dolly starts in a bit

homecoming is next week

i'm actually contributing to homecoming..yea i know..

hopefully anna can sleepover on friday

funny moment with my mom:

Mom: So I was trying to find Thanksgiving decorations for dinner next week, but everything was just Christmas things.
Me: Well we could just make decorations.
Mom: Like what?
Me:...uh...well...um...i dunno...
Mom: hahahahahhahahaha o Gillian I guess you just had a moment where your inner Martha Stuart had to get out.

o do lurve my mother dearly

ok yea so um...nothing much else to say...

life is very up and down lately..

if you really wanna understand then talk to me..

and thats about it...


mGuEsEiKc: i have a favorite cheer though
BOiLiNg PoInt315: lol
mGuEsEiKc: lets make some NOISE *clap clap*
right over HERE *clap clap*
lets make some N-O-I-S-E right over H-E-R-E wooop (swinging arm gesture similar to a cowboy) woop (swinging arm gesture similar to a cowboy*
BOiLiNg PoInt315: ahahahahhahahaha
BOiLiNg PoInt315: ooommmmmgggg
BOiLiNg PoInt315: hahahahaha
BOiLiNg PoInt315: i cant breathe!!!!11

i didn't think rohit would be so impressed by my kick ass cheering skills

(take a chance)

all seem to say. throw cares away   
04:54pm 07/11/2004
mood: high
sooooo...i haven't written for a few days...um...the show is about the most annoying thing ever to come into being..especially since i couldn't walk for 3 days and missed any opportunity of getting a good running crew assignment...now don't get me wrong...i love doing shows...i love working under pressure...but when there are about 8 of us who are absolutely stressed beyond belief and you put stuff like politics, friend issues, old problems in the mix then we all start yelling and its bad....but..nonetheless..i know i'm going to go for this whole week..stay as late as everyone...and work my ass off...i dunno...i guess you'll put up with a lot to do what you love..

i missed marching band...summit won...yay...yay for the freshman team too cus they won...

o yea..so i sprained my ankle in gym on wednesday..and i couldn't walk for wed, thurs, and friday..i could walk yesterday...and i can walk now...it just hurts..and i limp..

friday juan, michael, and anna who are the coolest came over because i couldn't get out of my house...um...they rock..and juan and i made many mini movies with possessed baby dolls and anna's camera phone...juan michael and i battled it out for crusin the world titles..and anna and michael played with my disgustingly old computer...we also ate tacos...courtesy of my mom..who is cool...yea..

um..saturday i had crew...and since i got up late and got there late i was sure i was gonna get in trouble...but i didn't cus i couldn't walk...after crew i went to dinner and friday night lights with anna, brian, and tim clayton...

-if you can find me a practically orgasmic brownie..i will dance for you
-haha that was funny
"maybe thats why we're laughing"
ouch OUCH i just got SERVED
-tim..what are you doing behind my head
oo i'm almost there
-can you explain to me sunglasses in a movie theatre??

o goodness i do love them peoples...there were these like...7th grade girls..who were snooty like woah..and they were trying to be cool and make fun of us..and they looked at tim and brian throughout the whole movie..it was quite quite quite hilarious...

and today i didnt do much..i went "shopping" with my mom and sister..and got shoes..and a bunch of stuff from claires..cus i had a gift certificate..and now i'm going to go do homework...

pahartay for me

hahahahaaha about the mood..i'm not really high..i just like watching a little mouse thing have a joint in its mouth..it cracks me up

(take a chance)

ignorance is bliss   
11:15pm 01/11/2004
mood: aggravated
well...it seems as though everyone's been a little slow on the updating front...so i'm taking a stab...one word to describe life right now.


friend stress
school stress
music stress
theatre stress
family stress
self esteem stress


life is like an effing rollercoaster and i'm not having fun.

(2 defied gravity | take a chance)

stormy weather   
09:17pm 20/10/2004
mood: aggravated
so life is pretty damn blah...

and blaher

and more blah



god i'm such a fucking baby...

suck it up gillian...

(take a chance)

09:06pm 17/10/2004
mood: infuriated
ahhhhhhh stop asking me people...i don't know....if you don't give a shit about me then don't talk to me talk to that person...goddamnit...

music is the only thing that keeps me sane

why does everything suck so much?

(take a chance)

a breath away's not far to where you are   
11:12pm 13/10/2004
mood: pessimistic
well all i have to say really is just that stuff isn't so good right now...and no one cares why so i'll just say that...

and no one really reads this so i'm not gonna bother with updates so much...


(2 defied gravity | take a chance)